Black Monday

BULLS HIT cried the headlines.

Do Bigha Zameen...Two Acres of Land

1953, Do Bigha Zameen, a brilliant movie which depicted the hardship and the toil a family had to face so as not to lose their two acres of land.

2006, Do Bigha Zameen, all one needs to do is compromise.

Reservations

That potatoes come in various sizes and colours and shapes is a well known fact by now. The section of the field of potatoes called Intheair, knows this better than any other section in the field of potatoes.

As it is, less by nature and more by design, it came to pass that some potatoes were prominent , others less.

This fact tickled the overgrown potatoes no end; their eyes saw an opportunity to keep growing.

They devised a scheme, as scheming goes,
To make all potatoes the same.
And what a scheme it was, as scheming goes,
Reservations was the given grand name

Potatoes come in various sizes,
This as a fact is well known.
We will stop this scheme, the overgrown potatoes promised,
When all potatoes are fully grown.

The prominent potatoes were less happy,
The less prominent were more.
This schemes, as other schemings go,
Were lost in the days of yore.

The overgrown potatoes grew bigger,
The rest remained the same.
This scheme, as all scheming goes,
Did not lower their eyes in shame.

And they remained potatoes happily ever after.

Rice does matter

And they all remained potatoes happily ever after.

The Grapes of (W)Rath

The rift between two varieties in the section of the field of potatoes called Intheair (the r is hardly pronounced) is widening. Violence flares up in the blink of an eye.

Strains of, we didn't start the fire, it was always burning, waft through the air.

The treads of the Rath's wheels, have not attempted to douse the fire, if not anything else.

Oil For Food

I was in the middle east in the middle years of my youth. The few memories I have cared to hold on to of that visit are the vast openness of the land and the food.

In fact my appreciation of food definitely took a turn for the better during my visit. Of food, my favourite memory being, layers of Olive oil poured over some of the dishes before consumption.

Little did I know, a similar combination of the middle east, oil, food and a person of my nationality could result into something distinctly unpalatable.

The Price of Rice

Fans of Wodehouse would relate to a character called Psmith (The P is silent). A fantastic character as characters go, one of my favourites too.

Did Wodehouse know the silence of the P would be used as a ploy to rice to the top.

Vahana

Does one need to own a vehicle in order to be the chosen one? Something to ponder over, between one's morning ablutions and reading the morning paper, or is it the other way around.

Vahana, the vehicle or the creature that serves as the vehicle, was not owned. Yet the association is so complete and thorough, the two are inseparable, and of course chosen by the multitude of millions.

Which brings me to my favourtite Vahana of all time, the chariot pulled by seven horses. I used to wonder, how seven horses were controlled so as to make the chariot tread the more desired path.

I guess the chariot to this day treads a path of its own.

Dam Maro Dam

Dam maro dam, mit jaye gham,
In the land of Hare Krishna and He Ram.

Duniyaa ne dam ko diyaa kyaa ?
Duniyaa se dam ne liyaa kyaa ?
Dam sab kee parwaa kare kyon ?
Dam ne humaaraa kiyaa kyaa ?

Chaahe jiyenge, marenge
Dam naa kisee se darenge
Dam ko naa roke jamaanaa
Jo chaahenge dam karenge

Dammit!!!

Old memories...

Of childhood days, I remember the stand fan we had in our house, blades made of iron which had to be coated with rust preventive paint every other monsoon.

Elders, would reproach me as I attempted to approach the fan and would warn me about putting my finger in the fan.

I reminiscensed, when I read of the rampaging fans. I wish the cops had some elders warning them...

Do not put your fingers on the fans.

J...B...AIL

Ever wondered how easy it is for the rich and famous to swap the first letter and get away scot free.

It happens only in INTHEAIR.

The show must go on...

Die hard Pink Floyd fans would relate to this...

Apologies to Waters (another of my greats), I had to, had to twist this to my convenience...

U...ma, U...ma
Must the show go on?
U...ma. Take me home
U...ma. Let me go

There must be some mistake
I didnt mean to let them
Take away my soul.
Am I too old, is it too late?

U...ma, U...ma
Where has the feeling gone?
U...ma, U...ma
Will I remember the songs,
The show must go on.

Must the show go on?

Rat ya Tra?

This ya That? Ying ya Yang? Black ya White? Truth ya Lies? A few of the eternal questions being asked to get the eternal answer Of Life, The Universe and Nothing.

It is of course well known how an additional letter (in this case the letter "H") caused so much havoc and pain to the now well know section of the field of potatoes called Intheair (the "r" is hardly pronounced).

Goes to prove how careful one must be in dotting ones ayes and crossing ones tees or in this case, striking out ones etches.

RESIG Nation

A new form of government, has recently been defined, as definitions go. Resig nation. Yes, it can happen in one and only one place in this big field of potatoes, the section surrounded three sides by large expanses of water and on the one remaining side by an expansive mound of earth.

The definition is courtesy some of the overgrown potatoes (described earlier) having decided, the only way to keep growing is to resign from their current overgrown state.

The rest of the potatoes in their section of the field would ensure their ever loved overgrown representatives would take back their RESIG NATION and keep growing for ever.

The interesting story of the overgrown potatoes

It was a fair day in an age far far ago. A north westerly eastward swirling wind blew from the south across a large field and it was a fairly large field as fields go. In this field grew an innumerable number of potatoes. And how they grew, in all sizes and shapes, some were large and white, some small and white, another some large and dark and another some small and dark, well I could go on, though I will stop here. The field was divided, less by nature and more by design by large pools of water which seeped into the ground, in which the potatoes grew and providing essential nourishment. Yes, there were other things which grew amonst the potatoes, but I will leave them out of this story as this is a story chiefly of the potatoes which by sheer numbers, outnumbered the rest.

Having said it is a story chiefly of potatoes, this is no way implies it is the story of all the potatoes in the field. It really is a story of a section of the field, surrounded three sides by large expanses of water and on one side by a fairly expansive mound of soil. There were other sections of the field, each whose stories would lend an interesting read, but this story of the said section makes the most interesting read of all.

The interesting fact being, this section of the field, Intheair (r-hardly pronounced) as it was known in those days and age had the largest number of potatoes amongst all the other sections put together.

Amongst these pototoes were some potatoes all of five hundred and fifty two in number and the largest of them all. They controlled everything other than the number of potatoes in their section of the field. The surprising fact being these overgrown potatoes had started their growth from a normal size like all the other potatoes, and were chosen by the rest of the potatoes to grow to a size which could be termed as overgrown.

And as all fair stories have a happy ending, so does this fairest of them all.

They remain potatoes till this day and age.

Species

I am not talking about the movie of the same title. Not that there is much to talk about, one rather stared open mouthed at the inanely scripted movie's actors (I'm being politically correct and not breaking my back here.)

Scientists have recently confirmed, what has been rumored around for quite a longish bit of time, namely the discovery of a new species of fauna.

It is closely related to a species chiefly found in Australia, though only in the way the name is pronounced. The same scientists confirmed, all other behaviours are distinctly different from the Kangaroo.

"Pray, what are the behaviours of the new species?" asked a young and eager journalist at the hastily convened not so young and eager press conference.

Pat came the answer (no Pat is not the behaviour, oh why digress, let me veer straight to the point).

The species has a certain penchant for crisp pieces of paper, especially those ones imprinted with the images of certain National heroes (the more important the hero, the better). In fact some of the samples of the said species, have displayed a larger penchant for crisp pieces of paper, with the images of certain National heroes of other nations (the more important the hero, the better). They even go to the extent of demanding these from their human visitors.

Oh, I have not divulged the name of this oh so interesting species having such oh so interesting behaviours.

It is called "Bangaru".

A...Z of Political correctness?

Some are well known forms of government, some are from my imagination, all reflect the truth

Anarchy: The state in which, a young one undergoing education is, without a measure
Banana Republic: A state in which M.A.S.H. means the staple diet
Communism: A McCarthyless state
Democracy: A sine wave of hope where hope is never allowed to rise above the axis
Empire: A superpower by any other name (however romantic) would stink the same
Fascism: What happens when everyone is aroused by sadism and masochism
Geniocracy: Government made by geniuses...I am sure you are having a good laugh...
Hierarchy: It gets lonely at the top
Idiocracy: I wonder why they took out the Idio and put in the bureau
J:
Kleptocracy: Government by thieves...They finally found one name which fits all
Localism: As globalisation moves from the advanced world to the third world, localism moves the other way...
Meritrocracy: Government by merit...Exists in dictionaries
Nanny state: Who will govern the governesses / governors?
Oligarchy: Government by the few...~540 to ~1 billion...Just wrap it up in hope and you know what you have...
Plutocracy: Government by the wealthy...what is not mentioned is how unwealthy they were before they formed the government
Q:
Republic: Remember "The sum of all compromises..."
Synarchy: Replace the "Y" with an "I"...sounds the same...conveys the truth...
Technocracy: When you are governed by makers of certain fruits or wall openings...aren't we all in a way...
U:
V:
Welfare state: Whose welfare are we talking of?
Xerocracy: The end of intellectual property...Le Napster est mort...Vive le Napster
Y:
Zerocracy: Alpha to Zeta...the beginning and the end...no one to govern...idealistic...

"NO" worries...Be happy?

I came across an interesting article about a survey today titled, "17% Indians have no worries at all"

Couple this with another interesting fact. Most Indians begin most of their sentences with a "NO".

The survey ought to have been titled "Indians have "NO" worries". A worrying fact indeed.

No, but you must believe me.

Would you read this...

In these days of bird flu, et al...

Would you read Chicken Soup for the...

India Shining

A blazing hot afternoon, we were traveling from the domestic airport in Mumbai to our home in Andheri East. We were back in Mumbai after two years, the traffic had doubly worsened. Flyovers not withstanding, potholes on main roads, not very different from the Mumbai we remembered two years ago.

The number of vehicles could not have possibly doubled in two years time. Our vehicle's wheels tended to display an almost human need to hug what were the smallest patches of reinforced concrete remaining...when we came across the only explanation for the apparent doubling of traffic.

The route led us via the road circuiting the international airport. We were amazed to see the shining image of the sun reflected on the surface of the water collected in a ditch spanning half the width either side of the road, bang outside the international airport.

Images of the "India Shining" slogans which we had left behind two years ago, reminiscensed.

Google Earth revisited

What do users of Google Earth, desperately seeking Mumbai, have in common with doctors in some Hindi movies or tele serials?

Both say "Jab tak city(CT) scan nahin hoga, tab tak ham kuch nahin keh sakte"

Inspired Inspite

Yesterday I happened to listen to a song whose lyrics go...

"Chino arab hamara...Hindustaan hamara...Rahne ko ghar nahin hai...Saara jahan hamara"

A movie made in the year 1958...a hard hitting spite at then India's foreign and domestic policy ...

The contemporary corridors of Indian foreign and domestic policy must be echoing with these lyrics...

You think you are wise at 42...or...the masses do not deserve their m

You think 42 is the answer...if you do so yet...let me take the pleasure of informing you how right you are...or left...depending on how you lean...or how further away from the truth you are...

You think the heaviest rains in the last millennium caused all the floods in your city...brought life to a standstill...made you stay at someone else's overnight without your husband/wife making a noise about it...you could not be more wrong...the city council is always right...the rest of the city thinking otherwise...they had planned the city drainage capacity to perfection...to withstand the heaviest of rains...they had planned all new constructions (public, private and condominium) with their large swanky swimming pools to perfection...

What they had not planned for was a synchronized cleaning of all the large swanky swimming pools in the city coupled with the heaviest rains in the last millennium...and the rest is as they say "all swell that end swell"...aren't we all fools to have thought otherwise...

Yes...you are welcome to not believe...but you might as well believe Google Earth's satellite shots of Mumbai which show all those large swanky swimming pools in all details...almost all...